If you think slow zombies are scarier than fast ones, I have bad news for you: they aren’t.
I’ve been on the side of the shamblers for many years. Whenever someone asked me which was scarier, I’d always respond with, “Oh, slow ones. Of course.” And supply the usual grounds. Yes, fast zombies can run, but the unnerving inevitability of the slow approach of the walker is much more terrifying. Same principle as in slasher flicks; villain walks so damn slow, but he’ll get ya. He’ll get ya…
But let’s face reality here, people. At the end of the day fast zombies are scarier because there is no chase. We don’t have a chance. I don’t know about you, but I can barely run a mile let alone run constantly from fast, ultra aggressive, twitchy zombies. Walkers? Yeah, I can walk at a brisk pace for quite a while. Do some dodging. Jog ahead of the zombies, turn a corner, and hide somewhere. By the time they catch up, I’ll be long gone.
But fast ones? Yeah, I’m going to die pretty quick unless I find a very safe place to be stationary in. Think about it: no time to snipe heads as they come towards you, no time to lose them, no time to put distance between you by foot. Every ounce of determination a slow zombie has, a fast one does, too. But since they’re faster they get what they want in a fraction of the time.
We hold on to the notion of slow zombies being the scariest because, most likely, that’s what breed of zombie you grew up on. My first zombie flick was Night of the Living Dead ’68 when I was twelve. I only saw Romero movies until Dawn of the Dead ’04, and for many years after that I still thought slows were scarier. If you’re one of those people that firmly believes in the superiority of a slow zombie over a fast, I ask you to really consider the reality of why they are better or scarier, and share your thoughts.
But me? Fast zombies are scarier than slow zombies. Does that mean walkers don’t have any merit in the undead world? Absolutely not. That they aren’t scary in their own way? Nope. It just means, if the zombocalypse were real, you’d be a hell of a lot more afraid if they were fast.