I hate the Internet


Whoa, whoa. The title really caught your eye and you’re ablaze already, angry that such a remark would ever be made.

I’ll rephrase to cool your temper. I hate the Internet because I hate how I can’t control myself when I’m on it. Makes more sense? I hope so.

If the internet were to make an advertisement like a state does–Come visit us!–they’d paint a picture of a land that has many wonders to behold, infinite  amusements, adorable wildlife, tons of social activities, etc. It seems like a great place to be, and it is. Or rather, it would be, if we were out-of-towners who visited only on occasion and visited only the best sites when truly needed and desired. But we aren’t.

Oh my, no. We are not. We are jaded locals, seen all there is to see. That’s why I hate the internet, because I’ve been here my whole life and want to bust outta this town but I can’t. I’m stuck here, repeating my cycle (Facebook/Gmail/Yahoo/Pinterest/Youtube) too many times a day to count. Sometimes I’ll hear about a new place that popped up. I’ll give it a go, but eventually I’m back to the same-old same-old because the hard truth is that I can’t stop myself. Even when there’s nothing new to see, I check and recheck, my brain drooling for that little red icon or a number in parentheses. I think you probably do, too.

Sometimes, when I really can’t stand the internet, I don’t go on it. It’s possible, folks. Difficult, but possible. Sometimes I go a whole day without unnecessary link cycling and browsing, and when I do, stuff that needs to get done gets done. It’s awesome. You’d be surprised how much you’re missing out. The more I do it, the less jaded I feel. I get that blissful out-of-towner feeling when I do go on, enjoying some vids and pics here and there, updating statuses and replying to comments. And once it’s done, I simply remove my butt from the computer chair and don’t go on again until I really need to.

I don’t think there’s much else I can say from here. I won’t write about the logistics and boring reasons why you should reduce your internet use. I won’t try to convince you. I won’t respond to your comment on how I’m using the internet right now to write this blog. Instead, I’m going to finish writing, remove my butt from the computer chair, and bust outta this town until I’m ready to come back.


About Eloise J. Knapp

Eloise J. Knapp is an author and designer living in the Pacific Northwest.
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