Screw you, Brain. Not Today.

Troll brain

Your brain in Troll Mode.

Dear Brain,

Oh, it’s this again, huh? We woke up fine with a smile on our face—that’s rare enough as it is—with optimism coursing through our veins, and you had to pull this bullshit again?

Screw you, Brain. Not today.

I’m not letting you stir up the doubt, the self-loathing, the pessimism. And no, I’m not going to watch Netflix midday instead of doing something productive. Nice try.

The thing is, Brain, I let you take the lead too often. You see something that makes us unhappy and you ruin the whole fucking day. You run around in circles, tripping over barriers of your own design, slamming into walls you built yourself, then wonder why your face is so messed up and you can’t get anything done.

No. Not today.

Today, right now, this second, I’m taking charge. I know you’re looking out for me in your own twisted way, that you think casting us into blinding depression and irrational thought processes will somehow protect us from the big, bad, scary world. I’m telling you now, it won’t.

It absolutely, posi-fucking-tively, won’t.

So, here it is, what I want. I want you to chill out. I want you to take a deep breath, remember whatever you’re thinking can be set aside for a while so we can focus on the now. So we can do what we want to and give it our best. Deep down, I know that’s what you want.

If it’s of any consolation, all that bullshit you’re fixated on, it’ll still be there tomorrow.



P.S. Don’t put those YouTube videos in front of me, you manipulative jackass. I know what you’re doing.


This ranty open letter goes out to all my fellow creators who are fighting the good fight and going through the struggles we have on a day to day basis with our art and psyche. The only thing stopping you is you.


About Eloise J. Knapp

Eloise J. Knapp is an author and designer living in the Pacific Northwest.
This entry was posted in Humor, On Writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Screw you, Brain. Not Today.

  1. Charles Pryor says:

    So Much Win!

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